areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize