Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
