apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
