in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
