I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
