Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have already put on my inside pants.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
