break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
