Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
