I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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