Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
