New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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