Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
A+ Viking dick
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
