dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
