I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
