I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You are a booty call, not a friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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