i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
