I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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