FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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