how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
