Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize