im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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