i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize