I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
