She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
