i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
