also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
