you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
