Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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