He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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