i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
