what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
