I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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