their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
