my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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