I heard we made out
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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