i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
