i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
