Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We left the knife in your bed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
