saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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