what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
