Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
