remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
