Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
