Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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