she peed on how many people?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize