we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
