i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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