it was like his penis was on wheels.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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