We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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