dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
