You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
