didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
