Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
