She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
