Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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