Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Randomize