the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
