I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
