I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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