Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize