Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
