I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
