thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
