He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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