She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
