Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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