just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
is it fun? or sober?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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