Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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