dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Terrible idea I love it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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