ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
