Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
