The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So many bounce houses so little time
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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