I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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